Fight- it is the most aggressive form of
expression/concern/fear/love?/satisfying ego. The form of communication that is
‘conditional’ unlike love that is ‘unconditional’. We all fight for various
reasons, with different people, on unimaginable levels…
Well
we’ve all heard and believed (atleast to a certain extent) that ‘all is fair in
love and war’* and sadly we forget to read the asterisk that tells us the
conditions towards the rule.
So
why is the understanding of conditions to fight important? 90% of the times, we
fight with the people we know, or care for; but in that moment of hostility the
fight gets nasty and dirty. When the fight gets dirty- it only strains the
friendship/relationship further instead of resolving the issue (I bet the issue
will be tiny-winy). The perception
towards the initiator of the fight changes for the worst and it is hard to see
that person in the same light as before ever again. Trust is broken, people are
forced to take sides, the sanity gets destroyed. My observation
is that people become more rigid towards their ideas and try to stick to them
after a fight. The tendency to change becomes impossible. Sometimes silence
says many things.
“Listen!
Clam up your mouth and be silent like an oyster shell, for that tongue of yours
is the enemy of the soul, my friend. When the lips are silent, the heart has a
hundred tongues” ~ Rumi
Moral
of the story: Try avoiding fights; communicate with a calm mind if possible, or
the best (according to me) just walk out of the situation to save all the drama
that follows a fight.
Some rules to consider:
1. Never
lower a character, more so if a woman is involved. Character is the most
important and delicate attribute for a human.. don’t use it in unnecessary
places.
2. Always
keep a fight private; adding more people takes the fight to a different
dynamic. Remember ‘Too many cooks, spoil the broth’.
3. Don’t
spill beans! Never ever, use one secret’s against them during the fight ‘mode’.
Quality posting. Very insightful. To add to the wonderful advice offered here: A wise person once said that "sometimes people have to follow their own advice and apply it to their own problems" to gain a deeper understanding of self. As Abraham Lincoln once said, "Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing". The best people of good character, wisdom, and pure intentions examine self first, leads by example, accepts faults, learns from mistakes, strives for improvement each day, and takes care of others, even when others do not see it or expect it. Consistency is key. Some people are "shadows". Other people are "trees". Each person makes that choice. With some self-reflection, it would appear that the insights offered in this blog, and the message shared here, would be quality advice for any person to follow. As stated in the blog - very insightful one may add - "When I shut my mouth and turn to walk away, it does not mean you won. It means your stupid ass is not worth my time". People can respond to such situations in a variety of ways. How best to respond? Well, one option is to follow the advice of a wise person who once said, "Never walk away from sincere friends. When you see some faults, be patient and realize that nobody is perfect. It's affection that matters, not perfection". Very good advice. Yet, another option is to follow the advice of another wise person who once said that "knowing when to walk away is wisdom. Being able to is courage. Walking away, with your head held up high is dignity". Perhaps the answer will be revealed in silence...indeed!
ReplyDeleteThank you! We truly appreciate your perception :) As you rightly stated - people respond to situations in their own way... Simply coz each one of us in unique.
ReplyDeleteSilence is indeed the most powerful scream! Ironically it communicates a lot more than words between two people.
ReplyDelete