Fight- it is the most aggressive form of
expression/concern/fear/love?/satisfying ego. The form of communication that is
‘conditional’ unlike love that is ‘unconditional’. We all fight for various
reasons, with different people, on unimaginable levels…
Well
we’ve all heard and believed (atleast to a certain extent) that ‘all is fair in
love and war’* and sadly we forget to read the asterisk that tells us the
conditions towards the rule.
So
why is the understanding of conditions to fight important? 90% of the times, we
fight with the people we know, or care for; but in that moment of hostility the
fight gets nasty and dirty. When the fight gets dirty- it only strains the
friendship/relationship further instead of resolving the issue (I bet the issue
will be tiny-winy). The perception
towards the initiator of the fight changes for the worst and it is hard to see
that person in the same light as before ever again. Trust is broken, people are
forced to take sides, the sanity gets destroyed. My observation
is that people become more rigid towards their ideas and try to stick to them
after a fight. The tendency to change becomes impossible. Sometimes silence
says many things.
“Listen!
Clam up your mouth and be silent like an oyster shell, for that tongue of yours
is the enemy of the soul, my friend. When the lips are silent, the heart has a
hundred tongues” ~ Rumi
Moral
of the story: Try avoiding fights; communicate with a calm mind if possible, or
the best (according to me) just walk out of the situation to save all the drama
that follows a fight.
Some rules to consider:
1. Never
lower a character, more so if a woman is involved. Character is the most
important and delicate attribute for a human.. don’t use it in unnecessary
places.
2. Always
keep a fight private; adding more people takes the fight to a different
dynamic. Remember ‘Too many cooks, spoil the broth’.
3. Don’t
spill beans! Never ever, use one secret’s against them during the fight ‘mode’.
