This happened over the routine weekend conversation with one of my
school friend. After a few decent minutes of talking, the conversation took a
serious turn. (With due respect and privacy of my friendship the topic of
discussion shall be kept under wraps). I had a jaw dropping moment and decide
to quit the conversation politely.
It brought me to think:
1) Are we living in a generation of speed dating?
2) Isn't there a true meaning for 'love'?
3) Why are all friendships misunderstood to be the stepping-stones for
affairs?
4) Are we so hormonally imbalanced that each one is a walking sex
object?
5) Can’t there ever be true friendship between a girl and a
boy?
In today's world there is so much of freedom for people, bigoted by
globalization. We are slowly adopting and moving towards westernization.
The transformation in Indian culture started drilling fast with the onset
of IT revolution in the 90s. Employees who travelled abroad adopted the
culture in bits and pieces. The inflow of knowledge in terms of movies, technology,
etc are uncontrollable. Our people learn a lot from movies, as it is the surrogate life they live
in. And with globalization, also there were increased stress levels
among the people due to stringent work schedules and as a consequence relations
take a toll. And the easy way to find solace is being with opposite sex or getting addicted to alcohol or
smoking. This instability forces people to meet the opposite sex
to ease their
pressures/tensions. They can meet people of same sex, but as opposites attract,
they connect emotionally well.
I would say sex is the driving force. The only way a person vents his
energy is by anger or sex. Many of us find reasons to be angry or upset on some
issue or the other. If not explicit forces, we create situations to be
angry. Sex is an alternative to ease off as it maximizes pleasure. Utilitarian
way.
Sex is definitely the most driving force in today’s way of surviving a
relationship. Sex weakens the bond between the two involved. How? Have the
marriages of our parents' weakened over the years? If anything they've
strengthened over the years that they have lived together. Of course they have
their points of differences and fights, but it has never let them to let go off
their partner. The earlier generation people though maximized their happiness
in order to minimize pain of family and society they were bonded. Even their
expectations were low.
In the current situation once sex is over, the mind becomes happy and
ultimately with time the partner becomes an object as the person has attained
maximum pleasure. It is like buying a new phone, once you are satisfied, you do
not like it and want a new model. And if you ask me why people do such
things? That is because they are emotionally unstable and the earlier culture
has been infringed. Also it is a problem of surplus. Wasn’t this problem of
surplus there in earlier days? Yes indeed it was, but back then, we were bonded
by culture and were better individuals, morally.
Are we living in a generation of speed dating? This is the day of ‘free
world’. We want to end a relation as quickly as possible to form a new one. We
do that, because we have become more individualistic and financially
independent. We want to get what we want; and we do!
For example: if a couple is in a relationship and things don’t work out,
instead of finding the root cause of the problem they call it quits and call it
off. This is now the increasingly visible ‘new culture’. Imagine earlier,
during an arranged marriage if the girl had affairs prior to marriage, the guy
would straight away reject her. But that option was not given to girl. And
also, if a girl had any affair with any guy, she would marry ONLY him if not
commit suicide. Very few ended up choosing another guy. With the changing
times, this fact is also seen changing. Now a days, neither the guy nor the
girl worry about the past. Whatever happened in the past is done and
a new life together MUST start. That is the idea. Surprisingly parents also
support this probably as they want to support their children despite the
mistakes.
What is love for us (us meaning the current generation)? Nice bike
rides, gifts, movies, sex, and then bye bye??! How many couples have married
their 1st love? More importantly it is related to emotions, and we do not think
it through before giving the commitment. If we say we thought
well, before falling in love, and still it did not work out, it means we
did not think well.
Consciously or unconsciously our brain works towards
indulging our self in opposite sex. Opposite poles have to attract, come what
may! Peoples thought process has changed, and hence when they enter into a bond
of friendship they know it could/will turn into an affair or may be friends
with benefits. The movie strengthens the idea too. Why do people consider
friendship as an affair is mostly because of our culture that never encouraged
friendships with opposite sex in the earlier days. This shows that the world
has changed while the saying remained true! Frankly speaking a girl and
guy will make good friends, as sometimes friends of the same gender cannot
convey their feelings as it is. There is a veil always. But with opposite sex
there is no problem as such. The energy just flows.
We are morally corrupt- that’s the whole problem here! People need
counselling. But what is the measure for this problem? Work culture, friends,
lifestyle…. are just a few factors that
can be changed to change our mindsets. We are what your friends are, right? We
get influenced by our surroundings might not by 100% but at least to about 10%.
Finally, it is a combination of one or many of globalization, easy
access to sex, craziness, stupidity, hormonal imbalance, blindly trusting
people, trying to explore new things.
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