Taking every adversity into Stride!

All of us go through rough phases in life when everything seems to be falling apart or not working in its expected way. Such is the rule of life. Nothing comes easy and for free. What happens? We immediately lose our patience, temper, tranquility, and most importantly HOPE! 

This is the MASK!

When going through a dejected phase, our human brain tends to think of all the bad things that have happened to us in the past, not to learn from the mistakes but to mask the current situation.

“Growth requires pain”! Learning to unlearn the old and learn the new is crucial for us to grow as a person (both professionally, personally, and academically). Being rejected is like hanging on to a slippery pole while trying to climb up the ladder. It doesn’t help much at that point in time.  But with patience and hope, one can climb up the pole slowly and gradually. If everyone gave up on things, this world wouldn’t be as we live in it today. We would still live the ‘cave man’ way !

There are so many inspiring stories that we can learn from:From Edison who changed the face of electronic living “If I find 10,000 ways something won’t work, I haven’t failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward…” 

From the uber talented Michael Jordan“I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” 

There is nothing wrong in things not working. Most of the times, it happens for the best! Its not easier said than done :) From my own experience during my undergraduate years – being rejected by 28 companies for no good reason only brought out the best in me, today!

Restoring Faith in Humanity!

If you haven’t noticed it already, the videos on ‘restoring faith in humanity’ have gone viral on Facebook/YouTube. It is such a shame that someone has to compile a video to make us realize about the need for humanity.

We are all so caught –up in ‘making our lives’ that we fail to appreciate people and nature around us. Is there really a need for a wake-up call?

It was during one of my summer vacations, holidaying with my family in an island for a fortnight (still searching for the pic, once I get a hold of it will surely post it).  It is a beautiful island untouched by the modernization of the world and breathtakingly fantastic to sit in the beach and just gaze at its beauty. The only way to get around is walking or cycling.  The island is flocked by tourists from all over the world!

One late evening, during a walking exploration - an apple vendor came running in front of us with a basket of apples on his head, trying to sell. I was walking empty handed and pocket; explained in the best of my ability that I din’t have money on me to pay him(had just learnt the basic words to get around with the locals).

He smiled; placed the apples (15) in my hands and said you can give my 8000shillings when we meet tomorrow or next time. And before I could ask him to walk with me to my resort, he wished me good night and went away.

I thought about the incident and shared it with my family. What shook me was his confidence or faith in the fact that I will pay him back! It is a floating population and there is no guarantee that his money will come back to him… but it was his faith and humanity to believe in others. The next day, I went to the same place and he was there- with the same smile and enthusiasm; paid the amount owed to him.

Humanity was, is and will always be there! We need to have the eyes to watch and the heart to appreciate… 

Dreamy Love...

There was a family party for me on the occasion of my home coming (almost after two years) and my house was right across the venue of the party.  As the party was over everyone was leaving and I told my parents that my cousin and I would wait to get the leftovers packed. During our wait for our food we started clearing up the table (helping the staff).

As as we were halfway through, I looked up and saw him enter the restaurant with two ladies. I was semi paralyzed, panicking, wondering what I should do. I was going back and forth between continuing the work or just turning my back to him, get the food and then leave.

After much debate- I decided to just keep working. While working I would constantly stare his way. He was sitting in way that his back was towards me. I would sneak around, hiding my face with whatever I could so that he wouldn’t see me. I saw that he would look around once in a while and I kept hoping he didn't see me

Finally we were done cleaning the table and I asked cousin what we should do about the second table because, as it so happened, the second table was right behind the table he was sitting at. So I wasn't sure what to do but finally decided not clean the table. As I decided this I noticed that they were getting up ready to leave. I turned around and told my cousin to walk and not look back.

I was kind of speed walking and then my cousin asked 'what if he was coming towards you?' I told her I hope not and she should just walk with me but she notioned behind me; I looked back, saw him walking towards me, looking right at me. I turned away quickly said 's**t' and started walking a little faster only to realize how stupid I must be looking, trying to avoid someone I already…acknowledged!

So I just stopped, looked back at him, smiled and then turned back towards hoping it would be a quick thing and nothing else

Next thing I know he is wrapping his arms around me from behind and I'm not sure on what happens next but we ended up sitting on the floor, with him behind me and me resting against his chest, snug, and comfy. We were talking about how he stopped keeping in touch and then everything else that happened in between.

And the next I remember is, we were sitting at a table talking about how he was here to celebrate his birthday in advance with his mom and sister

Right then my entire family comes back to the restaurant. They all sit with us and my mom is like "no wonder u can sit here and talk with him for three hours, he is your boyfriend”; as I blushed and answered in a long “nooo, he is my friend”.

Then everyone was trying to talk to him asking him questions, and in my head I was thinking, “Being the decent guy he is, he will speak with everyone". I was upset because I felt like that I would never get to talk to him like this again because he will never be done with my family. It felt like I lost him, which is weird because technically I lost him to my family, which is good as that shows they like him…

Dedicated for the ONE and only YOU!! J <3

Break- up is not an option

The change in times is leading towards diversity. Diversity comes with a its own package of virtues and vices. Playing the devils advocate here, lets look at some of the issues with diversity in relationships.

Love is the amazing bond to share with the special someone. It makes you feel wonderful and ‘makes the world around you marvelous’. In my opinion, love is worth the experience and it’s a bliss when it transforms to a stronger relationship, also known as marriage.

This is all the nice side of falling in love. What happens when things turn a little rough between the couple? Most of the couples call it quits without even trying to sort our things. If anything in this case, today’s digital world of communication makes it worse. Texting or leaving voice messages has become the trend to communicate (rudely) during hard times.

Once this stage is passed, people make the worst mistake by calling it quits. ‘Break-up’ seems to be the best solution for everyone in trouble? I fail to understand this concept. Wouldn’t it be easier to sit and talk through the issue instead of being a stupid?  My personal opinion is to take help, may be from a trust worthy friend or professional help!!

While many may question: why should we try to compromise, sit and talk, have patience and try to resolve? When things are not working out isn’t it a peaceful solution to part and stay apart? As the saying believed by many goes, a thread once broken has to be tied with joints and things will never be the same. After the initial phase of joy and wonder, one realizes it being an infatuation and not love: It being a blunder. Lets imagine for the imagination sake: How strong would the relation get if it is talked through? The situation might give a different perspective as we are in a more ‘saner’ mode.  Things will seem practical. We will better appreciate the person sitting across from us, and it then becomes a two way street for respect and love. So what is the glitch is not talking through?

If you don’t try to make it work with the person you so call ‘love’ at the given point in time, there is no guarantee that you will ever find a partner for a life.  Unfortunately, with all the love dramas we witness around us, it is not very rare to see individuals walking around with a trail of broken hearts and souls behind them.

Break-up is NOT the solution peeps! COMMUNICATION will definitely resolve the issues, of any kind.

My feelings...

You came into my life as a pleasant breeze,

Swept away by it, I let my guard down,

Letting you be my knight in shining armor.

Through the gentle phase of fledging love,

I loved the warmth of our relationship,

I kissed you and caressed you.

The magic of your articulation, left me spellbound

The twinkle in your eye captured my attention,

Orienting my delightful fondness mirage in you.

Little did I know, the winds would turn tumultuous

You made me face the fears of a virgin naive girl,

Of deceit, distrust, and heartache

Shattered my dreams and crumbled my emotions,

All my hopes and questions left unanswered,

Leaving me stranded with tears of hurtful memories.

Despite the affects of the boisterous relationship,

My first infatuation shall always be you,

I treasure the joys of our sweet nothings.

Today’s World of Speed Dating

This happened over the routine weekend conversation with one of my school friend. After a few decent minutes of talking, the conversation took a serious turn. (With due respect and privacy of my friendship the topic of discussion shall be kept under wraps). I had a jaw dropping moment and decide to quit the conversation politely. 

It brought me to think: 

1) Are we living in a generation of speed dating? 

2) Isn't there a true meaning for 'love'? 

3) Why are all friendships misunderstood to be the stepping-stones for affairs? 

4) Are we so hormonally imbalanced that each one is a walking sex object? 

5) Can’t there ever be true friendship between a girl and a boy?   

In today's world there is so much of freedom for people, bigoted by globalization. We are slowly adopting and moving towards westernization. The transformation in Indian culture started drilling fast with the onset of IT revolution in the 90s.  Employees who travelled abroad adopted the culture in bits and pieces. The inflow of knowledge in terms of movies, technology, etc are uncontrollable. Our people learn a lot from movies, as it  is the surrogate life they live in. And with globalization, also there were increased stress levels among the people due to stringent work schedules and as a consequence relations take a toll. And the easy way to find solace is being with opposite sex or  getting addicted to alcohol or smoking. This instability forces people to meet the opposite sex to ease  their pressures/tensions. They can meet people of same sex, but as opposites attract, they connect emotionally well. 

I would say sex is the driving force. The only way a person vents his energy is by anger or sex. Many of us find reasons to be angry or upset on some issue or the other.  If not explicit forces, we create situations to be angry. Sex is an alternative to ease off as it maximizes pleasure. Utilitarian way. 

Sex is definitely the most driving force in today’s way of surviving a relationship. Sex weakens the bond between the two involved. How? Have the marriages of our parents' weakened over the years? If anything they've strengthened over the years that they have lived together. Of course they have their points of differences and fights, but it has never let them to let go off their partner. The earlier generation people though maximized their happiness in order to minimize pain of family and society they were bonded. Even their expectations were low.

In the current situation once sex is over, the mind becomes happy and ultimately with time the partner becomes an object as the person has attained maximum pleasure. It is like buying a new phone, once you are satisfied, you do not like it and want a new model.  And if you ask me why people do such things? That is because they are emotionally unstable and the earlier culture has been infringed. Also it is a problem of surplus. Wasn’t this problem of surplus there in earlier days? Yes indeed it was, but back then, we were bonded by culture and were better individuals, morally.

Are we living in a generation of speed dating? This is the day of ‘free world’. We want to end a relation as quickly as possible to form a new one. We do that, because we have become more individualistic and financially independent. We want to get what we want; and we do!

For example: if a couple is in a relationship and things don’t work out, instead of finding the root cause of the problem they call it quits and call it off. This is now the increasingly visible ‘new culture’. Imagine earlier, during an arranged marriage if the girl had affairs prior to marriage, the guy would straight away reject her. But that option was not given to girl. And also, if a girl had any affair with any guy, she would marry ONLY him if not commit suicide. Very few ended up choosing another guy.  With the changing times, this fact is also seen changing. Now a days, neither the guy nor the girl worry about the past. Whatever happened in the past is done and a new life together MUST start. That is the idea. Surprisingly parents also support this probably as they want to support their children despite the mistakes.

What is love for us (us meaning the current generation)?  Nice bike rides, gifts, movies, sex, and then bye bye??! How many couples have married their 1st love? More importantly it is related to emotions, and we do not think it through before giving the commitment. If we say we thought well, before falling in love, and still it did not work out, it means we did not think well.

Consciously or unconsciously our brain works towards indulging our self in opposite sex. Opposite poles have to attract, come what may! Peoples thought process has changed, and hence when they enter into a bond of friendship they know it could/will turn into an affair or may be friends with benefits. The movie strengthens the idea too. Why do people consider friendship as an affair is mostly because of our culture that never encouraged friendships with opposite sex in the earlier days. This shows that the world has changed while the saying  remained true! Frankly speaking a girl and guy will make good friends, as sometimes friends of the same gender cannot convey their feelings as it is. There is a veil always. But with opposite sex there is no problem as such. The energy just flows.

We are morally corrupt- that’s the whole problem here! People need counselling. But what is the measure for this problem? Work culture, friends, lifestyle…. are just a few factors that can be changed to change our mindsets. We are what your friends are, right? We get influenced by our surroundings might not by 100% but at least to about 10%.

Finally, it is a combination of one or many of globalization, easy access to sex, craziness, stupidity, hormonal imbalance, blindly trusting people, trying to explore new things.